yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
