when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
