i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
