i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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