he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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