Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
