Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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