The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
