Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
