so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
