it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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