Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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