Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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