His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
