Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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