Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
