doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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