I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
