She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
