Sry I called you an 8
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Farmville is her only friend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
