K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
