I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
