this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
high people should be assigned attendants
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So squirting runs in the family.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
