i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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