I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
