Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
