She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
