we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
