well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
