Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
