I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
