i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
