That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You smell like stripper and shame
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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