It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
zippers are such a cool invention
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
