I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
