I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
