Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
