Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
