Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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