you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
