Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
