he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How external is "for external use only"?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
