i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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