mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
