like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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