she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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