dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
