I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
