..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
