I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
