so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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