Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
