C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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