so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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